Flaming. Hot. Black. Love.

Ladies, read up on the second entry to the Black Girls Dating Blog.  I just teared   up in my cubicle reading this one.  Love still exists, and might catch you unexpectedly.  Happily ever, who knows, maybe, but at least be happy for now! :)  

Journal Entry #2

By: Ms. J-Crew

I know that it is not polite to assume, but I am doing it anyway.  I am assuming that every woman reading this blog is an intelligent, sophisticated, and beautiful creature.  I am sure that we have all gotten compliments on our beauty, grace and skills.  We live in a society were “Black Girls Rock” and where women of all shapes, sizes and colors flock to the nearest J.Crew to dress like our First Lady. 

We know that we deserve the world because our parents told us so. We know that our friends do too, yet at some point in time we have all been “that girl”.  I know I have.  The one that loses herself, the one that withdraws from friends to hang out with an asshole, the one that is always making excuses for him.  It doesn’t matter if you were just “talking”, “hooking up” (speaking of which what the HELL does that mean???) or in a full blown relationship with him… we all have done it.  At the time no one could tell me that this was wrong or it was not going to work out...I was going to save him.  I was going to be the reason he changed his ways and then I would get my happily ever after.  Bullshit.

I was dating this guy who was sneaky and did me wrong.  I had great friends who stood by my side and helped me get my mind off of him, but I had enough.  I was a relationship hopper through and through, but I was mad. I bypassed hurt and went straight to Diary of a Mad Black Woman.  I was sick and tired of putting ALL of myself in a relationship and the guy thinks that 50% was ok.  Where the hell was my memo??  I could have saved myself a lot of hurt! So I decided that I would just date.  I dated and talked to people all over the country and had myself a ball.  I was even getting to the point of understanding why so many women out there just date.  If you are dating more than one then you never get bored and there is a better chance that you do not get hurt. 

Then it happened. Shit.

I was minding my own business one day when I saw him.  I paid him no mind.  I waited for my friends to stop talking to him and went on about my business.  We never even said hello.  His side?  He was so taken aback by me.  Mine? I didn’t really care about meeting him. The next day I found out that he was interested.  Score.   One more man to add to the list. We met up and got along great, he even managed to still call me even though he did not put my number in his phone.  He just memorized it. While drunk.  We went out again and by the second time I ditched all the other guys.  I told myself that he was cool, but not to get too serious.  But then things started happening.  Things that had never been done to me before.  Calls, not just texts…some of them were hours long, but some were just simple “I just wanted to hear your voice”. I began to notice the little things that he would do and so many times the little things would have some sort of correlation to some random thing I said in passing.  His words were living up to his actions, and that was something that I had never experienced.  He hated when I was upset and would go above and beyond to make sure a situation is rectified…even at 3 in the morning.  His one and only response-“Because I love you and I have since the moment I met you. And when a man finds the woman that he truly loves and wants to marry he will go to the ends of the earth just to see her smile.”  I have called bullshit on him so many times and so many times I am wrong.  He tells me that I deserve greatness…wait, I think I have heard that before…Oh yeah, from the people who really love me.

Even today he knew how stressed I was at work, one of those “please Jesus just get me through the next 5 hours without crying” days, then I get a call.  He is downstairs with some of my favorite things and a card.  That simply read:

When your day isn’t going as good as you’d like here is a little remedy to make it better- Some Flaming Hots to burn away the pain.  A little bit of chocolate to cover you up when you feel like a nut, a bundle of flowers, nearly as pretty as you and sit down with the Doctor, Dr. Pepper that is, and tell him what hurts…and if none of that works you can always call me.  I love you.

Men like him are who our parents pray we end up with. Men like him are who we deserve to end up with.  Someone who will take care of you (even though you are fiercely independent).  Someone you do not have to hide from your friends (at times they will be more excited to see him than you because he can give the “male perspective”).  Someone you do not have to make excuses for (instead you are bragging about all of his accomplishments no matter how big or small).  We all deserve it because we all are intelligent, sophisticated, and beautiful creatures.